FATE
by flowerbutterflyheart
Summary: Just when Edward decided to end his existence... she came into his life.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: ** Stephenie Meyer owns the characters in twilight.

**SUMMARY:**

He only comes to me in my dreams but I call it my nightmares because it never fails to scare me each time I wake up from it. Yeah, usually just in my dreams but today I had the shock of my life!! My name's Bella Swan and I have a story to tell…

**Chapter 1 **

**The Dream or Should I Say My Nightmare**

**BPOV**

I was awakened by a woman screaming with fear. It sounded so frightening that my heart started beating painfully from my chest. I was trying to catch my breath as I tried to breathe in deeply but slowly so as to regulate the beating of my heart. And like before when I woke up from my nightmare, I was always covered with sweat all over.

I sat down on my bed to calm myself and reorganize my mind. I realized that it wasn't anyone but me who screamed. I reached for my hair band and started to bind my hair away from my face. What a sorry mess I was becoming into. How could a dream or a nightmare scare me so much? I wasn't a little girl anymore who's normally affected with this kind of things.

I stood up and turned on the light then I walked to the bathroom and washed my face with cold tap water. I was trying to somehow erase some of the tension that I always have after such episodes.

I went back and looked around my bedroom. I was feeling paranoid because I was kinda expecting something or someone to pop out from somewhere any moment. I laughed at myself for even thinking such things.

Everything was as it should be aside from my bed covers which are now on the floor. I guess, with all my trashing, it slipped off the bed. I picked them up and arranged them again on the bed then I slipped in between the covers.

My bedroom… this was my haven before but when the nightmare started I felt that it somehow became my hell. Sometimes I didn't want to go to sleep anymore with fear that I would have them but I couldn't exactly know when I will have the nightmares.

I looked at the alarm clock and just as I thought it was just passed after three in the morning. The usual time I had them. I was angry with myself for being such a coward; I wasn't brave enough to not be scared. It was frustrating not being able to do anything about this which was affecting my life now.

He was always in my dream. It was always the same scene; he was looking at me and calling my name. He was saying something more but I couldn't hear what it was. But I felt that it was as though he wanted me to help him. But how and why? Not to mention, who… because I didn't know who he was.

There was nothing scary at first but gradually as the dream progress, it always turned out to be a nightmare. I just thank God that it was not every night that I had them. So yeah, this was my dilemma, it has been since the night I started seeing him in my dreams.

I hadn't planned to sleep again but my mind started to drift off and even when I didn't want to get back to my nightmare before, I couldn't control the turn of events. I had the dream again; actually it was really a fucking nightmare because this time it was much worse than the last one.

**The scene in my dream...  
**

I love painting as a hobby and I discovered this beautiful meadow when I was scouting for a place to paint. I like it here because I could only see and hear nature when I am here and it always gives me a sense of peace. Of which, I guess I needed from time to time. Since then I always go here to paint, when something is bothering me, or when I just wanted to be alone.

So, here I am alone in my favorite meadow doing my thing when I heard someone call out my name. I was distracted for a moment, I looked around but I couldn't see anyone so I continued to paint.

"Bella." It said softly. There it was again. For the second time, I paused at what I'm doing to look around one more time.

Nothing… Truth be told, I was already scared so I decided to pack my things. I guess, I could finish this up next time. I didn't have to convince myself to leave.

"Bella." He said softly like he was whispering. Third call and it was already freaking me out as I whipped my head to where I heard the sound.

This time, I saw him. At first I was scared because I didn't know him at all. He was standing beside a tree about fifty yards from where I was. He was looking at my direction. I squinted my eyes to get a better look at him. But although he was not that far, I still couldn't describe his facial features. All I could see was that he was very pale, his hair was a shade of bronze and he's wearing a black shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans.

It got me to thinking. How could I hear his soft voice when he was standing that far from me? And how come he knew my name? It was so confusing!!

My eyes were still glued on him as I cautiously picked up my things. I was planning to go the opposite direction from him when I saw that he was saying something. I didn't catch what he said so I let myself looked and asked him.

When I asked him what he wanted, I didn't hear anything but only saw that his lips moved with the words. It was weird, I heard him call me earlier but now when he was speaking something else to me, I can hear no voice. I didn't know what to do but I felt that he needed to tell me something that's why even though I know it wasn't safe, I started to walk towards him.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" I asked him. I wanted to understand him. I couldn't explain it but I wanted to know what's troubling him. It felt like I was being pulled to his direction.

When I was near him, I could now see his face. He was so handsome beyond words but that was not all I saw, I could see that he was sad and that he really wanted to tell me something, he was trying to but it got him frustrated when no words came out from his mouth.

Just then, when I thought that it was alright to be with him here alone, I got the shock of my life. Big time!! Because as I saw his face scowls in frustration his physical self just went poofed!! He disappeared completely!! I was so surprised and scared that I couldn't for the love of God, moved from where I was standing. My mind was pushing me to run away from here but my body wouldn't obey. I'm fucked!!

I have no idea how long I just stood there frozen with fear; my limbs wouldn't coordinate with my brain. I was screaming inside myself. It didn't enter my mind that a day like this could actually happen to me.

With determination and self preservation in mind, I finally had the power to command my body again.

"Run!!" I said to my self.

So, I started to run for my life, away from this place, away from this craziness but it didn't even take a second when suddenly, I felt the arms hugging my body and were restraining me from my freedom… The hair on my nape stood up when I heard him spoke.

"Help me… Bella." His voice was so sad and soft that it was like he was far away than from where he actually was. I looked back at the one who's holding me. I couldn't control the fear that was gripping me for he started to disappear again, slowly this time. I couldn't fault my self for my reaction. Who wouldn't?!

I screamed hysterically!!

A/N:

Hi everyone, this is my 2nd story for twilight. This is a more mature story and has supernatural in it. Totally different from my first (Best Friend Forever) which is all human.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this… :)

Feel free to review, comment, suggest or ask anything about the story…

See yah guys!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **The characters' names here are from twilight and is owned by Stephenie Meyers.

**Note: **Please bear with the story as it explains about Bella's life at first. It will gradually move on to the present I promise…**;) **

Reviews, comments and suggestions are welcome...

**Chapter 2 My Dad**

**BPOV**

My name is Bella Swan. My parents were divorced when I was still young and I lived with my mother since I can remember. We lived originally in Forks, Washington but since the divorce my Mom and I lived in Arizona.

I already got a steady job and was already living alone when Renee, my mother, decided to get married again, to Phil. I am happy because I could see that he was good for her.

I am a writer, I write romantic novels and such. I loved writing fictional stories as a child and it kinda stuck with me in adult life and the great part of it was it helps me pay the bills. This has been my bread and butter ever since.

I like to paint when the mood strikes me, though some said that I could make a living out of it, it never entered my mind. I didn't have any particulars of what I paint, it could be a face of someone that interested me, beautiful scenery, a tree, a blooming flower, or just any random things that caught my eyes which inspired me to paint them. I don't know, it just shows how amateur I am at painting, I guess. I just feel happy when I paint, especially when I finish a certain project. It's the same feeling when I finish a certain novel.

My father Charlie still lived in Forks. He's the chief of police for many years now. He lived alone on that little house that we, my Mom and I used to live in before. He never remarried again. I didn't know why, I just knew that my parents got divorced because they couldn't live together anymore. Both my parents are not such a talker when it comes to emotional stuff. I guess I am too because I never bothered to ask the real reason.

At my age of 25 years old, I've never had a serious relationship with the opposite sex. Yeah, I dated and I already had sex before but it was just that. No emotional ties or whatever on my part. But I am not a loose woman; I just had physical contacts with someone I like which consists of just two guys and not at the same time. I know how pathetic it sounds.

Sometimes I felt like I was not born to love and be loved by someone. I just couldn't open up emotionally. It was not because the guys I dated were selfish fools. It was the opposite; they were all great and were willing to commit to a relationship!! Every girl would be proud to have them as their man. But not me… I was always disconnected somehow.

So in order to avoid such awkward situations, I just stopped dating altogether and concentrated on my writing and painting which I guess, was fine with me. It was so ironic that even if I write romance novels, I was not the kinda of girl who believes in the happily-ever-after. I am such a hypocrite, I know…

All was well, except for the fact that my father died two months ago. We didn't actually get along well but he was still my father and I love him. And when his death reached me, I was so devastated.

My Mom and I flew to Washington immediately to organize everything. It kinda hit me hard that my Dad was living alone all these years and it didn't even entered my mind that he could be lonely. You only have to see the house to know that he still harbor his love for my mother and of course for me because the house was just the same way when we were living together.

It has been years since I last went here for a vacation, which was when I was old enough to voice out that I couldn't take the emotional stress I was having with me being passed from one parent to another. And when I became an adult, I got so busy with my life that I couldn't be bothered with visiting him. Yeah I call him once in a while. I guess that shows what kind of daughter I was to him. I felt so guilty.

Now I realized that it was my loss… I lost the chance of growing up and really knowing my father. It saddened me to think that I just realized too late because he was now in the grave.

On the day of the funeral, all our family and his friends gathered together to witness my father's final farewell. Each one of them told everyone what a wonderful person he was, of how much he was a great help to the community and how beloved he was. They were like large nails which were being hammered through my heart, one by one. Everyone loved and knew my father really well because everyone one shared their lives with my Dad, everyone… except me…

And when it was my turn to speak, no words came out because I was trying to control the tears that poured steadily from my eyes. The anguish I felt was indescribable.

When the service was over, after everyone said their condolences to my family, they went their own ways. I was oblivious to the people around me. I just kept on looking at his grave. I was trying to absorb everything that happened these last few days.

Someone touched my shoulder to get my attention. It was my Mom. I then realized that it was only the two of us left behind.

"Are you okay?" My Mom smiled sadly as she asked me.

"I will be… "I choked on my reply as I went in her open arms and started to cry my heart out...

She hugged me lovingly and was trying to soothe me. When I got a hold of myself I told her to go the car first because I wanted to be alone for a moment with Dad. She agreed immediately.

"I'll be waiting in the car." She said and I nodded.

They say that even if a person is already on the other side, his spirit was still with us and can see and hear us for a certain time… I don't know if it's all true. But just in case it was, I wanted to try to communicate with him even if it will just be from my side.

So I did…

"Dad, I know I rarely say this when you were alive, I feel guilty of being such a lousy daughter to you and it's hurting me that I could only say this to you now that you're already dead. But I hope you know how much I love you?" My tears were continuously falling as I whispered the words which came from my heart.

"I love you so much Daddy… and I'm sorry... for everything…" I said between sobs as I asked for his forgiveness.

It was a few minutes more when I could finally let myself walked away from the grave. My only consolation was that my father was with God now. I smiled with the thought and it somehow lessened the pain that I was having.

^ - ^

I didn't know why but I decided to transfer here in Forks, Washington when I inherited his house. Except for my mother, nothing tied me from Arizona because I can get my work done at home; I usually do that a lot anyway. Thanks to the magic of the web.

My mom and I returned to Arizona. And after tying up all the loose ends from my work, my friends, my rented apartment and everything else, I was ready to go back to Forks.

When the time of my departure arrived, she brought me to the airport.

Though my Mom was not a talker, emotionally, I guess since I am her daughter, she couldn't help but to worry about me.

"Bella honey, are you sure you're going to be alright moving there? You will be alone and we will be miles apart!!" She said worriedly as her tears started to fall.

"Oh Mom, I'm 25 years old already not 15. Stop worrying about me; I can take care of myself." I laughed as I wiped her tears and embraced her tightly.

"I know, I know but just take good care of you, will you?" She said and laughed a little too.

"You too and say bye to Phil for me, I'll call you when I get there." I said as I walked to the departure area.

When I looked back she was still there smiling sadly and waving her hand. I could see how much she loves me. I felt my tears started to fall down my cheeks too.

"Love you mom!" I called out to her.

"Love you too." She replied, though I didn't hear her I could read her lips say those words.

I turned around and continued to walk ahead. To my future…

I chose this new beginning. A new beginning with not so new place, not so new friends, basically everything will really be not so new to me because I lived in Forks once.

I didn't exactly know my reason for moving here, I just felt that I needed to. It was weird deciding spontaneously but I couldn't shake it off and so I did it!!

This was where it all started. I had the first dream after the first week I moved in. At first, I hadn't given it much thought. Everyone have nightmares every now and then, don't they?

But when I had that certain dream of him again and again, I got scared. I was scared not because he can hurt me, I didn't think he could. I was scared because it's like he had become a part of my life since I got here.

All of my dreams were just the same as the first one. Though it's not every night, it's been over a month now since the first time. It's almost funny because I shouldn't be scared of it anymore since I keep having the same dream. I should have been able to handle this.

But that's not the case with me, I often wondered if there's a meaning behind all of this because why am I having this kind of dream? I can feel it my gut that there's something going on that I couldn't explain just yet. And I have this eerie feeling that sooner or later, something will happen…

I just hope to God that everything will all turn up well…

Present Day…

I woke up in a not so good condition because I took quite a spill from the bed. I bumped my head on the floor when I fell.

"Fuck!! That hurts!!" I groaned as I felt the small bump that is starting to make itself known.

I stood up irritably and threw down the covers on the bed. I then remember why I had a troubled sleep.

"God!! It's him again!!" I said angrily. "When will you ever stop?!" I yelled to no one in particular as I went to bed again.

I felt like I was loosing my mind. It was much worst than my usual dream. With this latest dream, I swear I felt his arms around me. I felt the pressure and I remembered his arms were cold and hard. And I felt his breath as he whispered eerily against my ear as he asked me to help him.

It was the first time I was in close proximity with him and the first time he touched me in my dream.

I wondered if you could actually feel anything physically when you are in a dream. Like the heaviness of something or the feel of objects, etc. From my personal experience, when I dream of whatever, I could feel the emotional pain, love, hurt, being happy, being scared and even lust. But with my M&M which stands for Mystery Man, as I jokingly named him, I felt the feel of his embrace. Weird!!

"Whoooh! Thinking about it gives me goose bumps!!" I said to myself as I make myself comfortable again on the bed.

Actually, I was not scared of him because I have to admit it, he looked so sexy and so gorgeous that no one could compare to him. I was just scared of the fact that he evaporates in my dreams!! I couldn't quite get the hang of it every time it happens.

I wish I knew how to make this entire thing to stop! I couldn't take this anymore. I need to do something about it. But I didn't know how and where to start?

I was forever thinking things on how to somehow do something about my M&M when my eyes wandered around my bedroom and zeroed in on my laptop.

"Oh my God!! My work!!" I was so shocked when I remembered my deadline.

I scrambled out of bed and went straight to my computer. I checked and read my e-mails and as I expected I got a few from my editor, asking about my well being, this and that and of course reminding me of my deadline!! And I got an e-mail from my mother too, asking about me and telling me what are happening with her and Phil. I hurriedly typed a reply to my editor and promising to make the deadline. I replied a message to my Mom too.

It's a good thing that I do my work mostly at home, so I didn't worry about being late to work. I hate to admit it, I was a little behind schedule with it because I was always distracted by my ever faithful visitor, none other than my M&M. I got a little worried because I have to submit the rough copy of my story to my editor by the end of the week. I still got three days left so I hope I can finish it in time.

"Please M&M, let me finish my work… have pity on me... OR ELSE!!" My intention was to threaten him but then I laughed at myself because I realized that it held no effect since he was just created by my unconscious mind. If someone could actually hear me, they would surely assume that I was already loosing my mind.

"Hope not." I whispered wryly to myself.

"Okay! Coffee now… work right after." I sighed deeply as I prepared myself for the day. A day full of productive work… I hope!!

**A/N:**

So yeah, I hoped you liked reading this chap.

I kinda want this story to move along so, I'm bringing in Mr. M&M's POV, yes, who else could it be?! He's gonna be on the next chap!! **;) **

Thanks for reading and to the first three people who reviewed… **Shorty84, Kayleigh and MusicIsMyBoyfriend33!! **I appreciate the reviews guys.

See yah!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I own twilight!! But I woke up… It was just in my dreams…lol!! I hope I did!!

**Chapter 3 You Came The Day I Decided to Die**

**EPOV**

I wanted to end my life… so bad that I was willing to risk my soul, if I ever had one to eternal damnation.

I am such a failure!!

I was worthless because the one thing I promised my family was the one thing that I couldn't do up to now.

It was over a year ago when that faithful night happened. That night has been my only reason not to give in to the madness that I was keeping inside me. For over a year now, I was consumed with hatred and with forceful determination to train myself so I could be able to explore how to maximize my gift to my advantage.

I planned to bring down the Volturi… but hard as I could put myself into training, I realized that it was not enough… I was not enough to take them down. Even if I didn't want to face it, I have to admit it in the end because I realized now that the promise to avenge my family's death cannot be fulfilled.

This knowledge was tearing me apart because even though I discovered some skills that I didn't even knew I had, they were still not enough. I was a one-man army and although I knew it was impossible I had to try or I could fulfill my promise that if I couldn't avenge them I would end my life.

I knew I could count on the other Covens, specially the Denali's who we considered as relatives, to help with my battle but I couldn't ask them to put their lives in danger and sacrifice themselves because I already knew what the outcome will be. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happens. So I decide to do this alone.

I have two options:

The first one was to attack in Volterra. I could read minds so I would be forewarned of what they plan to do. It would be a big advantage. I also developed the ability to move things with my mind, so that would be helpful too like I will have an extra pair of hand or more like an octopus' tentacles. I'm sure that it will be useful too, if I could only be able to use it when I'm in the belly of the beast. I could also manipulate them in their dreams, although how useful that is, I didn't know and I'm still working on that, I'm not an expert on that yet.

Oh well, chances are, I could bring down most of the guards but I'm guessing not long after that I would be swamped over with more, not to mention their deadliest demon twins and of course, the three dicks that have control over all of them, namely Marcus, Caius and Aro.

My greatest fear was that if I go to the Volturi, instead of killing me, they might try to force and manipulate me to become one of them. I knew each of their gifts and I knew that this could happen to me. This does not sit well with me. Just the thought of that was making me vomit with hatred.

So, if I couldn't avenge my family, instead of going to Volterra and risk being used by them, I'll gladly take my second option.

The second option, which I guess; the end result was not going to be much different from the first. It is to commit suicide by beheading myself. The only problem was I need someone to burn me after I did that. And that would be a problem!!

I couldn't think of anyone who would willingly do as I ask. So it has to be someone I didn't know personally. Someone I didn't have kinship with.

I looked outside the window and through the nearby forest as I thought of the possibility of finding someone to help me; I needed that someone to end my misery. I felt sad and worthless that I couldn't avenge my family. I knew they would understand but I was still disappointed with myself for not doing my part. I planned a revenge that I knew too well was doomed to be a failure.

But by deciding to end my life I felt sort of at peace as I thought of my family…

My name's Edward Cullen, I once belonged to a vampire Coven, particularly The Cullens, they were like my family. Carlisle Cullen turned me into like him when I was on the brink of death. There was no way to save me except for turning me into a vampire. Since then, he became like my father.

At first it was just me, then he met Esme and like me she was about to die, from her suicidal fall from the cliff. Carlisle was so sympathetic and felt pity for her that against his better judgment, he too saved her by bringing her into another kind of life. Then they fell in love. Esme became my mother.

Our family extended with the inclusion of Rosalie and Emmett after that. And the last to the addition was Alice and Jasper who were already vampires when they came to us and Alice had said that they were supposed to be here as members of the family... Alice has a gift; she can see the future objectively.

Being a vampire has two options, you could either feed from human and be a monster or you could also be unique like my family. We call ourselves vegetarian. And it was from Carlisle that we exercise the alternative method of feeding. It means we are not taking blood from a human directly. It's either we buy our needs from the blood bank or we hunt and find ourselves animals like lions, tigers, bears and such to satisfy our thirst.

My family... all gone because by a rotten turn of luck, all of them was ambushed and was burned to death. I knew my family, they couldn't be taken down so easily but there was no sign of fighting so I was sure it was the Volturi. They have these weapons where their victims wouldn't be able to defend themselves. Their weapons in the names of Alec and Jane, the volturi twins who have special mental gifts which the volturi use for their own advantage.

At that time I went to hunt and when I came back, all that was left of my family were laying on the front yard, and their remains were still being eaten by the angry fire that seemed so hungry for their flesh.

I stood there shocked at what I was seeing, they were turning into charcoal. I felt so numbed all over. Every bone, every muscle couldn't move. I wanted to escape this nightmare but all I could do was stood there and stare at them. My loving family, Carlisle and Esme, Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice… they were all gone.

My knees gave out as I let out the anguish I felt. The pain was so indescribable that I couldn't think of anything else but the feeling of hatred that reached through my bones.

"Nooooo!" I shouted to the world over and over again as I held on to my sanity.

I felt so guilty and so angry because I didn't have the chance to do something to save them. It was so unfair!! The Volturi was our law enforcers, they should have exercised justice but with what they did to my family, there's no justice in it. There should have been no reason to put an end to us just because of our way of life; being different didn't account for being dangerous. We were not. It was their fear that led them to do this.

It was a blatant multiple murder…

I didn't know how I survived that day. After I got hold of my emotions, I forced myself to do the very hard thing that I wished I wouldn't have to do. I buried them…I mechanically dug a single grave and when it was deep enough, I carefully gathered all their ashes and put them in it. When I finished burying them, I made a headstone out of wood and patiently carved each of their names on it.

It was the only way I could show my respect to them. I was proud to call them my family. My mind still couldn't take it all in; it was so astounding to think that in just a blink of an eye they were gone and I was left all alone.

It was near midnight when I finished everything but I could not let myself walk away just yet so I stayed there beside the grave all night talking to them.

I could clearly picture each of their faces as I remembered just earlier this morning before I went hunting. Carlisle and Esme were planning a vacation, a long awaited 2nd honeymoon which they kept on postponing because Carlisle as a doctor was always busy with work at the hospital. They should have gone last year. I envy the kind of love that they had for each other. It was the kind of love that I had hoped to experience with someone in the future.

Emmett was supposed to hunt with me but cancelled on the last minute because Rosalie needed him for something. I could still see the expression on his face when he told me this. He was excited and looking forward to have that time with Rosalie. Though they were a total opposite in a lot of ways, they compliment each other. So basically, they were good for each other.

Alice convinced Jasper to go shopping with her that's why Jasper couldn't come with me too. And we all knew that when Alice planned on shopping, it was a sure thing that would happen. I guess, no one could say no her.

These three couples were very important in my life. They were vital to me because they were my family.

I laid there on the ground beside the grave looking up at the pitch black night sky with only a few stars decorating it until it slowly became dawn and gradually the sun shined to bid good morning.

I didn't have the heart to appreciate it and as I stood up, I took a deep breathe and let my eyes wondered again for the nth time to the grave of my family.

"I swear to all of you that your death would be avenged or my life will cease to exist." I promised them this as I gave them one last look and turned my back and prepared myself for the moment that I could finally take my revenge from the volturi.

It may take a while but it does not concern me. I'm determined to do this slowly but surely. I needed time so I can practice on my skill. I needed to explore my gift to be able to use it to the maximum. With this in mind, I gathered all the things that I will need because I plan to stay away from this place. I needed to go to a place as far away as possible to do what I had planned.

I stepped out of the house and went into the garage to get my silver Volvo. I got in and as I started to turn on the ignition, one thing clicked in my mind…

"Forks, Washington… okay, here I come!" I said to myself as I put the car in gear and finally let myself get away from this horrible place. We lived in Forks before and we have a house there so I wouldn't have a hard time settling there. All I had to do for now was move on and concentrate on my training.

I maneuvered the car through the driveway as I gave one final look at their grave.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I will come back and pay my respect again by offering you their death." I smiled sadly at the thought.

I sighed as I came back from my memories. The hurt of having my loved ones die was still deep inside me and I still bore the burning hatred for the Volturi. I was torn between trying to fight them because I so wanted to, and just end this all now so I won't give them a chance to use me. I have to choose and I guess, it doesn't leave me with so many options.

I chose the die on my own hands…

I was about to turn my back from the window when something caught my eyes…someone was walking through the trees and it's like she was enjoying herself.

I didn't know why but my heart started beating so fast that I was sure it would jump off from my chest.

As I looked outside, I caught myself staring at her with amazement in my eyes. I ran out of the house to carefully follow her because I didn't want to loose sight of her. She was so beautiful…

I couldn't expose myself to her just yet because I didn't want to unnecessary scare her. I contented myself by just gazing at her and letting her do her thing… for now. And for now, I'll just have to temporary stay away from her. It's for her own good until I sort everything out.

For now, I will be patient because I knew for sure that our FATE was intertwined because on this day that I decided to end my life… she came. There stood someone I didn't expect in this lifetime. There stood the woman that I was destined to be with…

There stood my life mate.

**A/N:**

I'm sure you noticed that there were some details that I got from twilight but just to let you know, I plan to change some too, like I wanted my vampire characters to experience sleeping again. Well basically, I want them a little more human. So sorry if it was not what you had expected.

Anyways, hope you liked reading this. **:)**

By the way, thanks to **Kayleigh** and to **KristenStewartFan** for the **R **&** R** on chap 2. I appreciate it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Twilight?! What the hell's wrong with you guys!! I didn't write it… I swear… I am not Stephenie Meyer!! LOL!!

**Chapter 4 Accepting My Feelings For Bella**

**EPOV**

I got information that her name was Isabella Swan, but she wants to be called Bella. She's 25 years old, a writer from Arizona who transferred back here in Forks when her father, Charlie Swan who was the chief of police died. The first time I saw her was after the first week she moved back in the house her father left her.

I remembered following her discreetly as she walked smiling. I was so amazed by her arrival that for a moment I forgot that I was so bitter and so angry because I couldn't fulfill the vow that I made to my family. I even decided to end my life!!

But seeing her now stopped me from my way of thinking. I didn't even wish for it but somehow I was still blessed because I found her. I could feel it in every bones of my body that we were meant to be together.

So now, I was left with another kind of dilemma.

It was easy deciding to end my life when I thought of nothing but my failure. It was so uncomplicated when I knew I didn't have any reason to stay in this world. But then, just when I thought the end of my misery was not far from my grasp… she came.

This combination of wanting to do my promise and welcoming the sudden feelings that overwhelmed me the minute I saw her was tearing me apart. It was not like me to dwell much in deciding what I wanted to do. But this was a very extraordinary thing for me.

Should I continue with my plan before she entered my life?

Would I be able to live with myself if I choose to have a life with her?

Why am I even having second thoughts?! I was so confused!!

This was when I decided to not enter her life just yet. When I come into her life… if I let myself be with her, I wanted it to happen when I am whole again. When I already knew where I could put this hatred for the Volturi… when I can forgive myself for not having it within my power to do any actions against them… and when I could accept the fact that I was still living in this life and my family were not.

I planned to stay away from Bella, for now…

**After a few days …**

When I made myself see sense about my situation, I decided to just live life as it came for now. Basically just go with the flow. Maybe I couldn't avenge my family now but I won't erase it from my mind. I would still find a way to avenge them. I accepted the fact that I couldn't do it alone. I hope I could find someone who also has a strong drive as I was to settle a score with the Volturi and hopefully form some kind of alliance with them. Someday, it will come. And when that time comes, I will rejoice with the knowledge of taking the Volturi down.

A week had passed since that day I saw Bella. A week of self evaluation and coming up to a decision was all I did. But all along the thought of her just a few kilometers away kept on clinging to my mind. It took me all the strength that I had not to go there. I was roughing it out to go against my instinct.

And in conclusion, I had decided to give myself a chance at love.

But still…

"No… No… I still couldn't." I told myself over and over again.

This past week had been hell. I felt like I was loosing my mind. I couldn't remember how many times I stopped myself from going to Bella to finally introduce myself so I could talk to her. It would have made me happy if I could just be in her presence even for just a little while.

One time, I was actually in front of Bella's house, I was about to knock. I didn't plan anything. I didn't know what I was going to say to her but I so wanted to hear her voice and just be with her. It was on impulse that against my better judgment I did.

But I stopped myself… I didn't want to jeopardize anything. I didn't want to have our first meeting as her being scared of me… because to her I was still a total stranger. I couldn't actually say to her right there and then that we belong together, that she was my life mate. It would be really strange coming from someone she still doesn't know.

It was making me feel frustrated and sad but this time, what I was feeling was in a totally whole new level. I decided to be prudent and practical with my life. I decided to let myself live life for now but keep on finding ways to kill the Volturi. It will just be that my focus for now will center on my life mate.

I couldn't be with her now but it didn't mean that I was not going to see her every chance I got. Well maybe not physically… See I have this skill where I could come into someone's dream.

It's time to train this gift again but this time… I'm doing it for myself.

**Present day…**

"You're not loosing it, love!" I couldn't stop myself from grinning at this. Though I was not really happy with her confusion, I was glad that she was not really afraid of me. And it warmth my heart greatly that she finds me sexy and gorgeous.

Since she's already awake and was actually begging me to not disturb her, I went on my way and went home to have a rest of my own. I hope she finish her novel on time. I felt a little guilty because it's true that I was the reason why she couldn't concentrate on her work.

But man! I loved every minute of it. Anyways, I'll give her a breathing space to let her do her job. Three days… Three days of waiting is nothing. I could live with that because I am looking forward when I can visit her again in her dream.

Since I found her, it has been my habit to come near Bella's house every time I wanted to enter her dream. Not so far yet not so close. Just close enough to hear her thoughts. I always arrive just before she goes to bed and leaves after she wakes up.

I couldn't believe the simple joy that it brought me every time we interact in her dream. Well actually, it was pathetic but I still loved it every single time. I intentional had given her a single scene every time because I didn't want to scare her too much. It's just that I too was getting the hang of it. As I said I have yet to explore this gift.

But last night, I couldn't control myself for I wanted very much to feel her in my arms. So I did, but that sure as hell scared her!! I couldn't fault her with that. It was my stupidity that got her scared.

I told Bella to help me but I didn't have the chance to expound on that. I wanted her to help me find peace and joy again for my existence and I knew with every breath I take that she and she alone held the key to my happiness. It was with her that my whole being depended on. I couldn't help it because I knew it was meant to be. We were meant to be.

And from the moment I saw her, I felt this overpowering emotions of which words couldn't exactly explain the extent of it. I didn't even knew of it until she came, I didn't even knew that it was her that I have waited and longed for in this life. She became the reason why I actually wanted to have a life now.

It's been a long while but today was the day I finally felt being whole again. I was overcome with a feeling of happiness because there's no doubt that I'm totally in love with her. I just hope that she'll come to love me just as much as I love her.

The moment of truth won't be long now because I decided that I'm gonna enter her dream just one more time. Just one more time to somehow prepare her because the next time she'll see me is when we can really talk face to face without me meddling in her dream.

I wanted her so much because Bella is my life now…

**A/N:**

So yeah, I hope that you liked reading it.

If you want to ask me something about the story, feel free to do so. You could put it on your comment or just pm me. You can be sure that I'll reply…

Thanks for reading everyone and a special thank you to **KristenStewartFan** & **jm1708** for the much needed reviews…LOL!!

Until next update!!


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